Blog post written by Samantha Durfy, MA, RSW, MSW and Lindzie O’Reilly, RD, MAN
Together we work at Student Wellness Services at the University of Guelph where we see University of Guelph students for one-to-one appointments and offer a variety of groups and workshops on campus. Since Winter 2017, we have worked together to co-facilitate a Meal Support Group for University of Guelph students. That means that this semester (Winter ‘22) we are celebrating our ELEVENTH semester running this group!
Participating in group support in general and a Meal Support Group in particular can feel like an overwhelming thing. Past participants in our group have told us that this is true (it’s hard!), and they’ve also told us that it is helpful and so worth it. We wanted to take some time to discuss the challenges of group attendance as well as why going out on a limb and giving group treatment a try might be beneficial for you.
Seeking support for an eating disorder is hard. It means acknowledging harmful behaviours, asking for help, showing up and being vulnerable. Folks often delay seeking help for a number of reasons – maybe you’re afraid, you’re not sure who to ask, or what to ask for. Maybe you’re not sure what help will look like or the changes you will be encouraged to make. Many of the folks we see worry that they aren’t sick enough or that asking for help means taking away a place from someone else.
While taking the initial steps towards deciding to make changes and asking for help is hard, some folks can find it even harder to wrap their head around the idea of participating in group treatment. Attending a group that occurs at a regular time each week can be challenging to balance amidst a busy schedule and a busy life. It means prioritizing your well-being and recovery goals each and every week and fighting against an eating disorder that will tell you that there are many other things that you should be doing instead with your time. Attending a group also usually means active participation. In a group like Meal Support Group, not only do you have to show up, but you also have to participate (i.e., eating a full meal with others). Attending a group means convincing yourself that you are deserving of support and deserve to take up space in a group. Perhaps most challenging of all, attending a group can bring up strong thoughts of comparison making (“what if I’m eating too much?”, “what if I’m eating the wrong thing?”, “what if I’m not sick enough?”), and we all know that eating disorders are experts at comparison.
Despite the above challenges of attending a group, Meal Support Group attendees overwhelmingly report that attending the group was worth-while and something they are glad that they did, so much so that many of our group members have attended Meal Support Group multiple semesters. One of the most significant positive experiences in attending a group is the feeling that you are not alone. A former Meal Support Group member shared that going to group was a validating experience and that “knowing that others are going through or have gone through something similar to what I am experiencing” was extremely helpful. Another member stated “attending group helps me to know I am not alone” even when their eating disorder tries to tell them otherwise. Group members have shared that attending Meal Support Group has helped them to stay accountable to their recovery goals and to take on challenges that might feel too daunting or scary on their own. A former Meal Support Group member shared that the group kept them accountable to their goals and allowed them to join in on the group food challenge, which they were unsure they would have done without the support of the group. Eating in a group setting can also help group members work on their pacing, whether that’s to slow down or quicken their pace.
For folks with an eating disorder, meals with others can feel challenging due to fear of judgment from others; however, group members noted that the Meal Support Group was without judgment and was a safe space to work on their recovery goals. While still challenging to eat in front of others, we aim to create a safe space in group that allows participants to practice eating in a social situation so that perhaps it might become easier in time to participate in meals with family members, friends and loved ones. Group members shared that the conversation during the meals amongst the group members and leaders helped to distract from any anxiety or difficult thoughts. Group members also found it helpful to discuss a plan for skills to use before, during and after the meal to manage any difficult urges.
Research in eating disorders recovery strongly supports and recommends that in addition to individual supports that folks working on recovery from an eating disorder also attend group supports. It’s what is considered to be best practice. Former Meal Support Group members have told us countless times that coming to group and eating their full meal is hard AND it’s worth it! If you’re having doubts about attending a group, we hope that you will give groups a try – we believe that in a group you will learn that you are deserving of recovery, you are not alone, and recovery is possible!